If you have imposter syndrome, read this!
As you have already read, the last 6 months have brought about a whirlwind of changes to my personal and professional life. There is one area of major change that I have neglected to mention, and that would be the change that brought on the very website you are reading this blog on: becoming a Professional and Personal Coach. A seed that was planted 3 years ago, and even attempted, but was never nurtured enough to grow.
Over the course of my career, I have mentored so many men and women (mainly of color) within my company and have led large teams. This is where I developed my passion for nurturing and developing talent. Providing guidance and assistance to employees so that they could become better presenters to executive audiences, obtain exceptional year end ratings, increase their salaries, start new career paths, or get promoted. I’ve also had the opportunity to take advanced leadership and coaching training while being groomed for my own promotions to Executive Leadership. So yes, the idea actually getting paid to do this was more than intriguing. But where do I even begin? It’s one thing to guide and mentor people in a company where you know what you’re talking about and you know the people to connect them to, but how ,could I ever be successful outside of that? It was easy when it was part of my job but who was I really to do this for anything more than zero dollars?
3 years ago, I added “mentor and coach for women of color in business” to my Instagram bio. I let it sit there and did nothing with it. I even drafted up my service offering and came up with a pitch. That too sat in my OneNote drafts while I did nothing with it. Actually, that’s not true at all. I sought out my own Coach to help me get over my limiting beliefs so that I could reach my true potential. She offered me two free sessions and after each session I felt powerful and on the road to breaking down my own mental obstacles. That was until she told me it would be $35,000 upfront to continue. HA! Had I known that ‘upfront’ we could have saved each other 2 hours! Now don’t get me wrong. I am all for paying someone’s value; however, when I asked some follow up questions to help me rationalize why I should hand this condo down payment over to her (i.e. proof of certification, references from large companies she claimed to have worked with, etc), she suddenly was unable to work with me. So back to square one.
1 year later, I deleted the ‘Coach” line from my bio. Actually, I deleted ALL the lines in my bio. I left my picture up and said, people would just have to figure out what I’m about on their own.
Fast forward now to the start of 2021. Remember this time from my first blog when I started considering a life outside of my corporate job? Well this seemed like a pretty good time to revisit how I would replace that six figure income myself and my family had become so accustomed to.
Alright, what if I really launched this Coaching business? I knew I needed to start with obtaining a recognized Certification because based on my own experience, I was damn sure going to be ready to justify my rates when asked. It took me 3 weeks to actually submit the enrollment fee (more on my struggle to financially invest in myself in another post), but once I did, I updated my bio-(again) with the line “Career Coach”….and then deleted it…and then put it back again…and then deleted it…and then said “F#$k it!” and put it back up. I left it there because, who really reads the bio anyways?
____ wants to send you a message in Instagram: “Hi Lauren. I see your bio says that you are a career coach. Can you tell me more about your services?”
SHIT! This DM came 6 months too early. I stared at it for a long time not knowing how to answer, but knew I needed to answer. I hadn’t started the course yet and now someone wants to know about my Coaching services. I quickly Googled other Coaching sites and realized that many were offering free consultations. So I “confidently" wrote back saying “Absolutely. Let’s get started by scheduling a free consultation.” To which she replied, “Sounds great. How about Friday?” DOUBLE SHIT! That was in two days. “Awesome. Talk to you then!” WHAT ARE YOU DOING LAUREN? YOU NEED MORE TIME!
That night I went Audiobook shopping and found “So You Want to Make Money as a Coach”, yes, yes I do. Purchased. Listened. Finished. Okay so I knew a few things about the business side, but I still didn’t know the first thing about how to structure a Coaching session. I Googled that too, took some notes, signed up for a Zoom account, and took deep breaths while I waited for the call to start.
She appears on the screen. Big smiles. Don’t let her see your fear. Here we go…
I started with light questions. “What do you do?” I don’t know why in my mind I assumed this person would be lost, struggling, and unaccomplished. I knew I could help that person. WRONG! As she rattled off her career accomplishments and her advanced education, I could barely hear the rest of what she said over my imposter syndrome: “She is so much smarter than you. You have no business trying to Coach her. Why would she take your guidance? What are you going to tell her that she doesn’t already know? ABORT! ABORT!”
I’m not going to lie. It felt so awkward and clunky but I stuck to what I knew. I asked questions and listened intently as she responded. Then, I don’t even know how we got there, but 45 minutes into the session the tears started rolling down her face. She said that the session had exceeded her expectations and she thanked me for a powerful 60 minutes. Really? Wow! Okay, maybe I don’t suck as much as I thought. This was good! No, this was great!
Mentally I was high fiving myself, until she said “I’d love to continue this. How much do you charge for your sessions?” SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I wasn’t ready for that question. I didn’t even think I would make it this far. I knew (from my 24 hour research marathon) what coaches typically charge. I provided her a price that was half of the bottom of the range but told her to take 24 hours to think about it before she signed up. I told her that it was important that she reflect on the conversation and if in 24 hours she was still thinking about it, then the partnership was right to invest in. But really, I didn’t even know how to collect funds from anyone. I needed to buy 24 hours to figure that out.
We hung up the phone, and before I could even celebrate booking my first paying client, I was setting up my PayPal and began building a website. I didn’t want to be caught looking illegitimate and not worth my already ridiculously low fee.
Since that day, I have accumulated nearly 100 hours in paid coaching hours, and am now 60% completed my Coaching Certification. I have a roster of over 20 regular clients, including my very first client who recently provided me with the following testimonial:
_____
From a very early age, I was conditioned to silence my inner voice. Much like many women of color, I was socialized to listen to and affirm the expectations set forth by larger systems of oppression. This resulted in a lack of self-trust, instead of having a healthy relationship with my inner voice I developed one that is often doubtful and mean. I felt discouraged to trust my own insights.
Learning to trust our own voice, find agency in my decision-making, and power is extremely important to me as a woman of color. I often say, the external world will always dictate and set forth systems that can silence my power, but the one power I can 100% lean into is self-empowerment. And because of this, I have to say Lauren has been a catalyst in my journey to self-empowerment and trusting my voice.
Each session she asks all the right questions to help me find the solutions to all my problems. She doesn't give advice unless directly asked for but instead she provides different possible alternatives to help me assess which would be most favorable based on my wants, needs, strengths, and means. She facilitates a space for me to trust my voice. I leave our sessions feeling like I am starting to have a healthier relationship with my voice, like I can trust my own decision-making, and am building a kinder inner dialogue. I feel empowered and not because Lauren is handing me the power, but because like any admirable leader, she is helping me tap into mine within.
I highly recommend Lauren's coaching sessions for everyone as her toolkit can be tailored across all groups. But I can definitely say that if you're a woman of color looking to gain strategies for self-empowerment, Lauren's coaching sessions would be great for you.
_____
What did I learn from all of this? I learned that pressure makes diamonds. I wasn’t ready for my first coaching session but having the pressure of the deadline forced me to figure it out. As a professional it is very scary to admit your imposter syndrome or insecurities. The last thing you want is to give people reason to doubt you when you have already done an incredible job doubting yourself. But if this post helps at least one person leap before they are ready, I will never regret it.